This is a painful topic to talk about even years after it happened, but it happened.
After coming back from one of the most traumatizing Doctor’s appointments where my Doctor had informed me that I needed to have a bone marrow test to ensure my diagnosis was correct and I do not in fact have Leukemia. My husband had said something to me that was not supportive or comforting.
When I came home in tears, I hold my husband that my Doctor was concerned that I may have Leukemia and a bone marrow test was required to confirm my diagnosis.
My husband’s first words were “what am I going to do if you are sick?” which followed with “how am I going to pay the mortgage, bills and look after Koby by myself?”
We totally bypassed the “are you ok?”, “it's ok I’m sure everything will be fine”, “babe we will get through this” and went straight to “what about me”.
I was honestly taken back for more than a moment and it took me a while to truly digest the words to understand that not everyone processes information the same way and not everyone around you is built for comfort. I will not lie; it hurt and fractured us because I felt like he was more concerned about himself then he was about me.
I had never felt more alone than at this moment
What I needed and what I got was complete opposites.
This obviously was not his finest hour but often there are people in your life that are not sympathetic and rather than providing comfort they fumble.
Luckily for me, I have a very supportive family so the comfort I craved was fulfilled by my mum who cuddled me and said "no matter the circumstance, we will fight this and we will get through this".
The reason I share this story is not to shame my husband because as per above this was not his finest hour but for others going through this journey to understand that not everyone you approach is ready or capable to handle the circumstances you may have to face. Some will rise to the occasion and others may fumble.
Furthermore, you cannot face what you do not know. So all that worry, stress, anxiety, the sadness I felt leading up to my bone marrow test was all for nothing because the test results came back negative.