Emotional Impact of Chronic Illness
- Kylie Leeson
- Oct 10, 2018
- 3 min read
Today is mental health day in Australia and I thought to myself what a fantastic topic to discuss. No matter who are or where you come from mental health is a serious issue that we all have to face from time to time. As much as one can try to stay in a positive mindset sometimes mental health just overcomes us. It makes you devalue yourself, puts you in a state of depression and at times can be almost impossible to shake off. It’s a deep dark wormhole that even the strongest of us struggle to climb out of.
1 in 5 Australians struggle with mental health issues that we know of, yet many go on suffering without bringing it to attention in fear of judgement or stigma. Many lives are lost due to this illness and many people live with heartache wishing they had known so they could of at least tried to help.
Whilst I do not wish to damper others issues with mental health (because all mental health issues are valid whether you have a chronic illness or not) I do wish to shed some light for my fellow ITP sufferers whom may be struggling not just with their condition but also with their mindset.
After being diagnosed with ITP (Immune Thrombocytopenia) I personally developed a lot of depression and anxiety with my new found illness. I was confused and couldn’t understand whether I was feeling down because of my physical health or whether I was having symptoms of depression. What I ended up discovering was that I was struggling with both. It was like my physical journey had also affected my emotional journey with my new found illness.
Challenges that I faced were;
Why me?
What did I do to deserve this?
How did this happen?
Uncertainty with my illness. Where was this journey taking me?
Life adjustments that I had to make due to my illness
Am I going to die from this illness?
Grieving for my old lifestyle
Anger with my body
I was and sometimes still am worried, angry, sad and scared. When I focus on these things this is when depression and anxiety sets in however this is a natural emotional reaction when facing a life altering situation. If you are also feeling these things please note you are not crazy!
I often wonder if I am weak for feeling like this? I even tell myself that I do not have cancer nor am I dying so I should not be feeling this way and I should not pity myself. As if I am telling myself that I do not have the right to feel down about what is happening to me. However this is no way to deal with these emotions - the fact is I do have the right to speak up and share how I am feeling emotionally.
A few great tips that I have learned along the way when I feel these emotions raising their ugly heads are;
1) to focus on gratitude - what I am grateful for. I am grateful for my family and friends
2) talk about my emotions - no matter how hard the words are to say
3) think about what I have already overcome - I am stronger than this
I’d like to tell you that these bad feelings do subside over time although I need to remind you that there are triggers that can usually flare them back up again. Things like platelets dropping to an unsafe level, having to go back to treatment, not being able to do things you once loved doing and the list goes on. It’s hard not to let yourself slip back into that dark wormhole I had mentioned above but as more time passes you begin to realize how to deal with these triggers.
I cannot express enough that if you are struggling with your mental health or are not coping that you should seek professional help. Talking to your doctor is a great start. Do not be ashamed, you are not a burden and your emotions are valid.
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