One minute you are living your life to the fullest, enjoying each moment without a second thought……and then suddenly you become someone who is now “sick”, someone who has to take extra precautions, someone who is too exhausted to enjoy their life.
Before ITP
Who I use to be and who I am now have completely changed. I use to be brave and full of adventure
I use to play fearlessly in sports and have a bundle of energy to compete round after round
I use to run around with my son and his friends and play footy or soccer in the backyard for hours
I had the ability and more than enough energy then I could have imagined
I hardly ever went to the doctor’s because I hardly ever felt sick
I was healthy
I didn’t fear sickness
I would take ibuprofen when I had a headache and sleep it off
I didn’t worry if I had a bruise because generally that meant I hit something
I wasn’t concerned about tomorrow’s because I was living in today
Then I had ITP
My life has been turned upside down
I am no longer fearless in sport because my body is no longer a shield
Now my idea of a good day with my son is watching Netflix together whilst I’m in my Pj’s and I wonder if he is no longer active because of me
I have early nights and wake up late because if I do not get at least 12 hours of sleep I struggle to get through the day
I fear sick people and when I see them I RUN!
I am a regular at the hospital and all the nurses know my name
I have to watch everything I do and monitor everything I consume
If I see a bruise on my body, I panic and wonder if I need to go to emergency
My life now is a constant battle with what I do today and how it may affect my tomorrow
What's worse is from the outside I still look the same so many people cannot understand why/how I have changed and assume I should be my regular self. However unfortunately what I have is an invisible illness therefore it may not have changed me physically however has most certainly changed me mentally.
There is so much uncertainty with my new found condition. How did I contract ITP? Will I ever go into remission? Will ITP one day beat me? These are questions I constantly ask but am yet to find the answers. All I know is for some unknown reason my body has had a reaction and now I'm left with the consequences that being ITP. It's not all bad. I have learned so much about my body and have realized how much love surrounds me. However I still have hope that one day my old life will come back to me.