When you become a parent something inside you changes you naturally become a protector. Your ultimate goal is to ensure that this innocent, beautiful life grows up in a safe environment.
Therefore, you work hard creating this safe haven, where everything is happy and safe. You instantly learn to put your body on the line if there is danger. Although I did fail at this one day (yeep). When taking my baby for a stroll in the pram. My husband was walking the dogs in front of me and I was casually strolling behind him, a happy family walk by the duck pond. Then my nemesis (bloody magpie) out of nowhere came and swooped down on me. I panicked and made a terrible split decision..... I let go of the pram to duck for cover. The pram-starting rolling downhill towards the duck pond, there was no way I could have caught it in time – luckily my husband was on the ball and sprinted down the hill to catch the pram just before it went into the water. He then turned around and yelled at me “what was that? This is our baby – put your body on the line”. He was right, I failed as a parent on this day however, I came back strong and our child is a healthy 11 year old. We now laugh about this story together and it has become a funny memory.
Part of creating a safe environment for a child to grow up in, is having healthy, happy parents. So what happens when one of those parents get ill?
I heard somewhere (I think it was on Oprah - now I'm showing my age) a phycologist said that only when you literally look physically sick is when you should inform a child that you are ill. Again, this all comes down to creating a safe place for a child to be brought up in, they do not need to know about sickness or need to fear for their parent’s wellbeing.
For ages, I held off telling my son that something was wrong. Even when I had my bone marrow test a lovely friend of ours took our son out for the day so he was not aware of what was happening. I did my best to keep my “illness” away from him especially when things were looking grim.
Eventually I believe someone else ending up letting it slip. As a martial arts family we love to play fight and I often would play fight with my son. One day he got a good shot on me and hit me in the stomach – he laughed so hard, happy that he got a good shot on me. I wanted to laugh with him but instantly my face turned to fear. Then not sure if it was either my mum or dad who screamed out don’t hit your mother it’s dangerous. My son's face dropped, all of a sudden he was in trouble for something that use to be fun. Because play fighting was, something we did often and we use to all laugh about when he got me a good one. He noticed instantly something was wrong. Then came the questions. He wanted to know what was happening, why and how. He felt left out.
So, I sat him down and I explained. I answered all his questions and concerns. I was honest however kept everything positive. Instantly you could tell he was worried for me and that is what I was trying to avoid. I did not want him to worry; I wanted him to keep enjoying his blissful life where everything is right with the world.
Overtime and my levels stabilizing has helped with life going somewhat back to normal. I am no where near as energetic as I use to be and my son has picked up on this however I still do my best to keep kicking on and not showcase any fear especially when my levels decrease or when I am showing signs of my condition (eg. Bruises all over my legs).
My son know understands my condition and is probably one of my biggest guardians. However, this is not his role and often I need to remind him that Mum is fine, nothing bad is going to happen and life is good.
Honestly, I would prefer my son not to know that something is wrong with me however how much worse would he feel if he was having fun with mum and something bad was to happen. Therefore, I think it is good that he now knows. Nevertheless, I would suggest if you are in the same boat that you make sure your diagnosis is accurate, you understand your condition and that you can answer all their questions accurately.
